The Contract From Hell
by Sakuchi-san
Summary: All is quiet in the skyscraper...until Misa barges in with a contract signed by Light saying he will MARRY HER! Panic ensues where L, Light, and Matsuda are whisked into an 'early marriage vacation' with Misa. While on vacation could Light convince L and Matsuda to help him shred the contract? Or be his best men?
1. Chapter 1

Afternoons around the skyscraper were always the slow times. Nothing to do, nobody to see, no one to arrest or slam in a fit of anger. Light was reading a newspaper, L squatting at the computer console (as usual), and Matsuda was dueling himself in Pokemon. All was silent until there came a rapid round of knocks on the front door.

No one made a move to go answer it. "I believe that someone wishes to gain entry. I know I'm not the only one who hears it." L muttered with his eyes still on the computer screen. "Light, go answer it."

Huffily Light glared at L from the top of his paper. "Who died and made you king, doughnut boy? If you want it answered go get it yourself. As a matter of fact, don't you have a butler? Water-something or whatever...ask him." He said going back to the paper, the knocking still in the background.

"First, his name is Watari. Second, he's not my butler, he's my assistant. Third, I own this skyscraper so you do as I say." L listed as he turned toward Light. "And finally, if you ever call me "doughnut boy" again I will kick you..._hard._"

For a few moments there was an epic staredown between the two, then they both arrived at the same conclusion. "MATSUDA! GET THE DOOR!" Both of them shouted to Matsuda who was trying to figure out how to wake up his Pikachu before his Lucario used Steel Claw.

Moodily Matsuda glanced up from his cards and said, "What do you saaaayyyyy?"

"Um, do it now before I shred your stupid Pokemon cards?" Light said from over his newspaper.

"Noooo. Come on, what do you saaaayyyyy?"

All the while the banging on the door has not _stopped. _If anything, it seems to have gotten _louder_. Sighing tiredly, L finally asked, "Matsuda, get the door, _**please**__?_"

"All right!" Matusda said hopping up from his cards and sprinting towards the door. Before he opened it he called out, "Who is it?!" He paused for an answer, but none came. All there was was more pounding, he didn't know how much more that door was going to take.

Giving up on trying to figure out who it was Matsuda swung open the door, only to be roughly shoved out of the way and onto his butt. "Uh, come in?" He said stunned from the floor as he watched the small figure make its way to the control room.

Stumbling up Matsuda called out, "Hey! You can't go back there! It's not for civilians...and you just went back there anyways... Damn." He gave chase behind the small figure as it went through the door. "Light! L! I think whoever it is wants to see you!"

Back in the control room L started shifting nervously in his computer chair. "It's probably that girl scout who I bought 18 boxes of cookies from. I still haven't paid her."

Light glanced up from his paper, apparently irritated at being interrupted once again. "Dammit Matsuda, just tell the girl scout that L will pay her back for the fucking cookies later! God, can't someone read a paper around here in peace?!"

Just then the figure in the room spoke.

"Awwww! LIGHT! Is that really how you're going to treat me after all this time!? I haven't seen you in FOREVER!" The voice crooned from the center of the room.

Startled Light shot up from the chair he was sitting in and stared at the person in the middle of the room.

_**Misa Amane**_

"Y-y-you aren't supposed to be _here!_" _Why are you HERE?_" He stuttered backing away rapidly and taking refuge behind L's chair where he was still sitting. "Matsuda! Why'd you let IT IN!?"

From the doorway Matsuda replied, "I didn't let her in. She just barged in, you know she's pretty strong for someone her size. Why are you hiding?"

"Yeah! Why are you hiding LIGHT? The LIGHT of my Life. My Shining LIGHT who LIGHTS up my entire world!" Misa said twirling in a circle as she came closer to where Light was hiding. "Come out here and give me a giant hug and a sloppy _kiss!_"

"Um, _no thank you. _You can leave, _right now. _And _never come back. EVER._" Light said with a scowl on his face.

Misa stood there frozen for a moment. Then the temper tantrum came. "ARRGGHH! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!" She screamed as she scooped up a handful of Pokemon cards and flung them at Light (and also L). "I came all this way FOR YOU! And you're REJECTING ME!"

"Please miss. Don't toss those. They're one of my best decks. So I would appreciate if-" Matsuda was interrupted with a blood curdling yell from Misa that shook half the skyscraper. "On second thought, I could just go out and buy more. No biggie. Hehe..."

Meanwhile L was rolling his chair away from the scene of the drama, but Light kept following him. "Light, I'm certain it's you she wants to eat. So stop putting me in the line of fire."

"Dammit, but I need protection! Stop rolling the goddamn chair!" Light called just before he stumbled and fell on his chin. "Owww..." Before he could recover Misa was already upon him throwing Evee, Mew, Riolu, and Growlithe at him. Pokemon _hurt._

Soon Misa ran out of Pokemon cards. Without any more projectiles to throw she stood over Light and cried. "And to think...I came...to live with you...so we could...finally get...MARRIED! Just like you promised in our contract!" Misa wailed pulling the paper from her purse with Light's signature on it.

"I'll sue you for sure if you don't marry me!" Misa cried shoving the paper in Light's face.

_Oh shit, I forgot about the damn contract! I'm totally screwed! _


	2. Chapter 2

Hours later, after Misa was calmed down and Matsuda retrieved his ruined Pokemon cards, the four of them sat around in the control room to try and figure out just what the hell was going on here. L and Matsuda sat on one couch and across the coffee table Misa and Light sat on the other (thought Light was very far away).

After throwing her major temper tantrum Misa was instantly back to trying to cuddle Light. "Oh Light, I'm sorry that I reacted that way! It wasn't your fault, you probably forgot. I mean, really, look what company you keep...you've probably had your hands full with the weirdo and the other one just looks plain stupid."

"AWW, COME ON! Do I really look that stupid?" Matsuda asked doggedly, waving his Pokemon cards in the air. "Is it the hair? Please tell me it's the hair."

L just sat placid in his chair not showing anything on his face, but thought, _Weirdo? Am I really that weird? I always thought it was weird in a cute way... _But what he said was, "How did you end up in this legal binding anyways Light? You don't seem to be too happy with the arrangement or your bride."

Light, who was on the very corner of the couch, was about to answer when Misa stepped in again. "For your information it's not a legal binding, it's a _love binding, _secondly I'm pretty sure Light is deeply in love with me and doesn't want anyone else but ME, thirdly we're going to have plenty of kids and..."

_Why. Does. She. Talk. SO. DAMN. MUCH. _Light thought trying to come up with a way to get Misa out the room so he could tell the others what's really going on. Finally he had an idea, but it involved talking to _her._ But he sucked up his pride and asked, "Misa, I was wondering if you would mind grabbing me a can of soda from the fridge? I'm sure you know what kind I like, you know, since you know me so well as your _betrothed._" Light shuddered inwardly at the last word.

"Ah Light, you're already trusting me with daily activities! We'll be like a modern married couple in no time. Just sit tight and I'll be back in a flash, don't miss me too much because I'll be missing you!" Called Misa as she ran to retrieve Light's soda, unbeknownst to her that there were over 15 flavors in the refrigerator at that moment.

As soon as Misa left the room Matsuda sprung up from the couch and shook Light's hand. "Congratulations Light! I didn't know you had a special someone lined up, if you'd told me I would have given you some lady tips." Matsuda said enthusiastically. Letting go of Light's hand he asked, "Do you mind if I could be one of your best men? I have an old prom tuxedo I could wear."

"Matsuda, you're an idiot. I don't _WANT_ to marry her, I want to get rid of that contract. I shouldn't have signed the damned thing in the first place." Sighed Light as he flopped back on the couch.

L, who was sitting patiently on the other side of the couch, finally said, "If you don't want to marry Misa why did you sign the contract? There has to be some logical reason because to me you don't seem like "marriage material"."

Light glared at L for a moment before saying, "I got tricked into signing the contract. A trip to the coffee shop turned into a "date" when I ran into Misa there. She insisted on sitting at the same table as me and feeding me strawberry danishes."

"That's not exactly a bad thing. I wouldn't mind that." L interrupted from where he was sitting. "Strawberry danishes..."

"_Ahem._ As I was saying, Misa was stalking me at the coffee shop and when I finally got sick of her I called for the bill to sign so I could ditch her there. Turns out the waiter was Misa's manager and the 'bill' was that marriage contract. So basically for the one time in her life, _one time _mind you, she outsmarted me. And now I'm stuck."

"Hey Light I got an idea!" Matsuda said, excitedly waving his arm in the air like a kindergartner.

"Please Matsuda, no more of your _ideas. _The last idea you had had us stranded in the wilderness with no food, shelter, or _snacks._" L told Matsuda shivering at the memory.

"No, no, no. Hear me out." Matsuda said hurriedly. Turning to Light he said, "It's just a piece of paper, right? All you have to do is figure out a way to get it and burn it or tear it or whatever and you're scott free!"

Light pretended to consider the idea then said, "Gee, Matsuda that's a great plan! So great that I've already thought of it _weeks ago_." Light said sarcastically. "I've tried to get it away from her, but she's made copies of the damn thing. If I get one, she'll pull another from somewhere else. The only thing I could think to do is to get someone to help me find all the copies..."

Trailing off his sentence Light looked up eagerly at L and Matsuda. Guessing what he was thinking L quickly said, "No, no, and _no._ If you think that I'm going to help you (keep in mind you called me 'doughnut boy'), you have another thing coming. Besides there's nothing in it for me."

"I think I gotta agree with L on this one. You haven't really given me any reason to help you out of this either. In fact, this might make you a more loving person, being married and all." Matsuda added after L finished.

"Ugh, okay I get it. I'm not nice. But if you do this for me, I might be inclined to reimburse you in Pokemon cards, Matsuda. Maybe even the platinum editions..." Light said snidely already knowing that he had Matsuda reeled in.

"Platinum cards?" Matsuda asked. "Does that include Entei and Mew also?"

Not knowing what the hell he was talking about Light said, "Sure, sure. Them and all those other ones too, even the yellow rat thing."

"I'm IN!" Shouted Matsuda happily.

L looked at Matsuda, then back at Light. "He may be reeled in but I'm still not helping."

"I'll buy you snacks for a week." Light offered.

"A month."

"_A MONTH!? _No fucking way."

"Not helping."

"Okay, two weeks."

"Seven weeks."

"Three weeks."

"Six weeks."

"Four weeks, take it or leave it doughnut boy."

L brightened at that. "Deal! And no take-backsies!" L said smiling a smug smile.

It only took a nanosecond for the reality to hit Light: four weeks was a month. "DAMMIT." Then the other problem hit: how was he, L, and Matsuda going to get to the place where Misa kept the contracts? "Fucking hell..."


	3. Chapter 3

Turns out it was easier than expected to get to the place where Misa kept the contracts: she invited them herself. After returning with a armful of soda she said, "I had just gotten a glorious idea while I was getting refreshments for my Lighty-poo! How about we take a vacation to celebrate our marriage _early! _I can't wait for afterwards!"

"OH HELL-" Light began before he was elbowed in the ribs by L. All the breath whooshed out of him as he thought, _Damn doughnut boy._

"YES! He was going to say 'oh hell _yes'. _He was just thinking the same thing. Plus, he was also conveying to us that he would like Matsuda and I to be his best men, so we're going to be accompanying you."

Misa puffed out her cheeks huffily. "It was supposed to be me and Light, _ONLY_. No freaks or old guys allowed."

"Please tell me I'm the freak and not the old guy." Matsuda said sullenly from the couch even though he already knew the answer. _I'd rather be called an idiot than 'old guy'._

Regaining his breath, Light added, "It's important for them to come because I don't want to spend _too _much time with you before the wedding. That would make afterwards seem less special." _Also it would be nauseating to stare you in the face, EVERY SINGLE DAY._

"Weeeelllll, okay. But you have to promise that after the wedding it would be just you and me and no one else." Misa said dumping her pile of soda on Matsuda-who wailed as one struck his forehead-and scooting next to Light. "Promise me, my husband to be."

Groaning inwardly Light croaked out, "I _promise._"

"Yay! Now that you've agreed we could get on a plane right now! Hurry and pack everything you need, I'll call the limo around to take us to the airport!" She yelled as she rushed out the front door with her cellphone in hand.

"But wait-Misa! Why the hell are we going?!" Light called out before she reached the door.

"DUH. The place I've been telling you about? My summer house in the most traveled to honeymoon destination in the world! HAWAII! Now hurry and pack, Ms. Takabi will be around front at any moment."

"Did she say '_HAWAII_'? What a dream come true! I always wanted to go to America and eat American food, and listen to American music, and learn all the weird ways they pronounce their words. This is so AWESOME!" Matsuda said as he daydreamed of how it would be like.

"Yeah, it's awesome for you guys. But may I remind you that we're going only to recover the copies of the marriage contract? So don't take this as a _real vacation. _It's a _mission. _Am I right L? L?" Light turned around only to see that L was online searching "best american sweets" and making a list of the ones he wanted to try.

"Hmm, let's see. I'll mark down that and that and oh, that looks especially good since it's covered in chocolate."

"L! Remember the agreement? Contracts first, candy later? Remember that?" Light asked L, who ignored him and went upstairs with his list to pack his assortment of clothes for the trip.

Light turned to Matsuda, only to see that he was packed and waiting by the front door for the limo. _UGH, at this rate I'll still end up married to that deranged stalker. When we get there they'd better remember the deal or I'll just have Misa ship them off and I'll deal with the matter myself._

A few minutes later the four of them were loading up their suitcases in the back of Misa's limo. Misa, Light, and L climbed in the back, but when Matsuda tried to get in Misa held up a palm to stop him. "Sorry no more room. Go sit up front with Ms. Takabi." Then slammed the door in his face.

Dejected and grumbling Matsuda climbed in the front seat beside Ms. Takabi who was a 63 year-old redhead with sharp predator eyes and red painted nails that were more like claws. _Sheesh, this lady needs to lay off the makeup, _Matsuda thought as he buckled his seatbelt.

Ms. Takabi turned to face Matsuda before starting the car. "May I ask how old are you sweetie?" She asked kindly with a crooked smile.

"Um, ah, I'm in my twenties." He replied carefully as to not give too much information away about himself. Something didn't sit right with him about this lady.

"Oh, in your twenties! How delightful! And such a ripe, young, _tender and juicy age._ Are you married by chance?"

"N-n-no..."

"Oh wonderful! You're all free for someone to scoop up, aren't you?" Ms. Takabi said as she smiled her crooked smile and started the limo down the street.

_Really!? Why do I have to sit with the cougar! _Matsuda thought trying to scoot as far away as possible from the creepy redhead for the whole ride.


	4. Chapter 4

A few hours later (which Matsuda felt like was an eternity) the limo pulled up to the airport. Matsuda scrambled out of the limo, abandoning his suitcase, and made a hasty beeline for the airport entrance. Another hour with Ms. Takabi and the vulgar questions about his life and body would've made him jump out the window.

But Matsuda wasn't the only one who had a rough ride there. Light and L also left half of their belongings in the trunk so they could get away from Misa. The entire ride there Misa talked, and_ NEVER STOPPED. _She gave them a detailed descriptions of Light's future wedding, his house, his _children. _And all the while she clung to Light's arm practically cutting off his circulation. At one point Light considered chewing his arm off, it wouldn't hurt that much right?

L, on the other hand, had to escape Misa for a different reason: _her perfume. _She was wearing so much that it was messing with his tastebuds. Everytime he tried to sample one of the sweets inside Misa suddenly decided to spritz on another bottle. L knew she was doing this on purpose. Plus, Misa wouldn't stop commenting on his clothes claiming there were "hobo dressings".

Once inside the airport the three searched the area for a spot where Misa and Ms. Takabi wouldn't dare to go. The men's room. They piled into the space, shutting the door quickly and locking it so no one could get inside.

Soon as the door was locked Matsuda said, "Look I knew we're friends Light, at least I think we are, but I can't go with you anymore. That butler, Ms. Takabi, is a _cougar_ and has decided that she wants _me _as her next meal! I'm not looking forward to having a double wedding with you Light, so I'm gonna try to sneak out one of these stall windows and hope for the best."

"Tell me if you find one." L said to Matsuda who started to scan the room for a window. Turning to Light he said, "The candy just isn't worth it anymore. If you think that I'm going to spend another minute with that banshee insulting me for the entire trip to Hawaii you have another thing coming. I mean honestly, 'hobo dress'? In no way do I look like a hobo...and tell her my habit of the way I sit does not make me retarded, it's the complete opposite."

Before Light could add anything to the conversation Matsuda called from the other side of the bathroom. "I found a window! Quick, someone help me open it!" He started to tug fiercely on the latch to the window, and to Light's surprise L rushed over to help him!

Seeing his chances of freedom slipping away Light started trying to pull them away from the window. "Guys come on! Please, you can't leave me with _that THING! _She'll probably drop my IQ to seven if I went on a week's trip to Hawaii. Come on, isn't there anything else I could do to keep you guys here?" Light asked finally squeezing himself between Matsuda and the window.

"What about your Pokemon cards Matsuda?"

"I can't play Pokemon if I have to take care of some old lady's feet! Move from the window!" Matsuda said trying to move Light.

"Alright,alright. How about I throw in some Yu-gi-oh cards for good measure. You play that right?"

"Yes, I play Yu-gi-oh and no not even for those. Now move from the window."

_Dammit, what other nerdy stuff does he goof around with? _Light thought frantically as he tried to keep blocking the window. "Oh, what about those Bey-things? I don't know what the shit is called but they spin around like tops or whatever."

"Beyblades you mean?" Matsuda said pausing for a moment. "Tempting but no deal. Beyblades and old lady vs. no beyblades and freedom? I'm gonna pick freedom."

"What if I find _all of them?_ Would that convince you?"

"Impossible, you can't find all of them. Now _move._"

"I'm smart and know lots of people, of course I can find all of them. So what do you say, deal?" Light asked hopefully holding out his hand.

Pausing for a second Matsuda considered the options. _He is offering me a lot of stuff. Mostly stuff I couldn't really get...and maybe he could find all the Beyblades. _After thinking Matsuda took Light's hand and said, "Deal." _Besides, Ms. Takabi is a harmless old lady, I don't have to do what she says._

Now after handling Matsuda Light turned to L. L seem pretty dead set on getting out that window, Light could tell by how he was stretching his legs as if making to break him _and _the window. Light knew just how to get L, though he despised having to make this deal. Really despised it.

"L, what if I told you that you were smarter than me in every way? That you are a genius and that I am a idiot who should listen to you more. Would that make you happy?" Light asked through gritted teeth.

L put his hand on his chin and thought. "Hmmm, maybe if you put that in writing, on an audio file, and a flash drive. Plus, throw in the candy for a month too." L said holding out his hand.

Sighing Light shook on it thinking, _This is gonna be the end of the world for me. And my wallet._

Just then there was a huge bang against the bathroom door. Then another bang and more bangs after that, like someone was using a battering ram to get through the door.

Then the door came off its hinges and there was someone with a battering ram: Ms. Takabi and Misa. "Awww, I found you Light! And your other ugly friends..." Misa said with a smile as she bounded into the men's room and hugged Light. "Thought you could get away from me? Well, Ms. Takabi's a transvestite." She said, apparently explaining how the two of them could use a battering ram.

Ms. Takabi entered the bathroom and took both Light and L by the scruff of their necks. Matsuda made a mad dash for the window but was yanked up whimpering by Ms. Takabi too.

"Come, my future husband. The private plane awaits us!" Misa said bounding out the door with Ms. Takabi dragging the others behind.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

_**Thanks to everyone who is still reading this! Sorry for the slow updates, but they're going to be on Saturdays and mostly Sundays. Hope you'll stick around to see what happens next! :D**_


	5. Chapter 5

Ms. Takabi dragged Light, L, and Matsuda onto a pink and black private jet outside. Once inside the cabin she then proceeded to strap the three into their seats, rather _tightly_, leaving them no room to squirm around in the seats. Then she went into the cockpit of the plane, since she doubled as the pilot.

Light tried in vain to loosen the straps across his waist and finally gave up after 10 minutes of fruitless tugs. Misa took the seat next to him and strapped herself in as well. "So Light, I was thinking for our wedding theme to be pink and black with about 500 guests in the giant chapel in Honolulu. The food could be a cross of Japanese and French with a life-size cake of US! It's going to be grand."

"Yeah, very grand. Can't wait. So excited." Light said nonplussed by the concept. _At least if the cake is life size I could imagine cutting off her head... _This was the only thought that made him smile, until Misa started snuggling on his shoulder. Her perfume made his eyes water.

Glancing up Misa exclaimed, "Oh Light, you're crying! I didn't know you were going to be so happy that we're getting married! Here let me wipe those away." Then she started savagely wiping his face with a silk handkerchief she had in her purse.

By the time she was finished, Light had faint red streaks across his cheeks. And the worst part was the perfume was on the handkerchief too. Which made him more irritated. _I hope this plan__e__ lands soon...or crashes into the ocean. Yeah, a plane crash would be good right now._

Meanwhile L and Matsuda were strapped in uncomfortably side-by-side. L was trying to get his feet up on the seat since Ms. Takabi strapped him in with his feet on the floor. He could feel his IQ dropping by points and it annoyed him greatly. Luckily he knew the knot she used at the end of the seatbelt.

With a few quick tugs and small turns he had his seatbelt loosened just enough so he could put his feet up. "Ahh, I feel my intelligence boosting again. Where's the chocolate on this plane?" He said as he started rifling through the overhead compartment.

Matsuda, who was still strapped tightly into his seat, stared at L in awe. "L! L, L, L! Help unstrap me! Quickly! This belt is chafing my waist! Very uncomfortable around the midsection." He pleaded as he watched L unwrap a Snickers bar from the overhead compartment.

Shrugging L stuck the Snickers in his mouth and was about to unstrap him when Ms. Takabi came from the cockpit. _She must have put the plan on autopilot. _L thought as she unstrapped Matsuda for him and then carried him away. L turned back to give a small wave then went back to looking for more sweets. _He'll be fine, I mean she's just an old lady. What's the harm?_

Apparently there was a lot of harm as she dumped Matsuda harshly into the co-pilot seat, but at least she didn't tie him up. Matsuda was on the verge of having a heart attack. _She's going to do something unthinkable to me, probably make me RUB HER FEET! Anything but THAT! So Disgusting! _

But on the contrary Matsuda didn't she her taking off her shoes, but going through the pantry in the back. She came out holding a platter with cheese and crackers on it along with two wine glasses of champagne which she placed on the dashboard of the plane.

Taking the pilot's seat next to him she asked, "You don't mind champagne do you? It seems appropiate for our first date."

"Oh not really, I mean I'm more of a Sprite or Fanta person, but-WAIT. What do you mean by date!? You mean DATE-DATE? I'm not actually-"

Shushing Matsuda, Ms. Takabi put a wrinkled finger against his lips. "Don't worry, I know you're shy but there's no need. We won't be doing anything _adult_. Just talking and getting to know each other. I'll start. Where do you work?"

"A-at the Japanese Task Force. I'm an officer." Matsuda said squirming around in his seat and nervously nibbling on a cracker. "I've just started a year ago actually."

"_Interesting! _As you already know I'm Misa's butler/maid, but I'm also vice president of the Pokemon club in Japan. But it's no big deal, actually it's humiliating being this old and playing Pokemon."

Matsuda perked up at this. "Actually it's not. I still play Pokemon and I'm very good at it. I don't care what other people say, well, except for Light since I see him everyday, but still it's fun."

Smiling Ms. Takabi reached under her pilot's seat and took out a Pokemon tin with various assortments of cards. "This is my collection so far."

"Cool." Matsuda said as he looked through the cards, but then he froze when he passed a white piece of paper. On the top it said: Contract of Marriage and on the bottom was Light's neat signature. _This is one of the contracts! I have to dispose of it without Ms. Takabi looking. _

Thinking quickly Matsuda said, "Hey, do you have any rare cards? You mind if I look at them? I won't bend them I promise." He crossed his heart just to show his seriousness.

"Anything for you cutie cop." Ms. Takabi said and winked at him as she got up to go get them.

Shivering from the wink and being called "cutie cop", Matsuda quickly plucked up the contract and shoved it into his pocket before she could return. When Ms. Takabi got to the table he suddenly yelled out, "I have to use the restroom! I forgot that I wasn't supposed to eat certain types of cheeses. Gotta go!"

And he charged out of the cockpit at top speed before Ms. Takabi could say a word, the contract tucked safely in his pocket.

_Cutie cop? Really? _


	6. Chapter 6

When Matsuda reached his seat at the back of the train L had already devoured what looked like 10 Snickers, 4 Milky Ways, and 7 Reeses. He was just starting on his 8 Reeses when Matsuda plopped in the seat in front of him.

"L! Look, look, look! I got one of 'em!" Matsuda scream-whispered excitedly waving the folded paper in front of L's face. "It was in a deck of Pokemon cards, of all things. Take a look at it." He said and passed the paper to L.

L took the paper with slightly caramel covered hands and opened it up. In it read, Contract of Marriage and the rest was legally binding rules for matrimony along with Light's signature. _He actually found one of these, without screwing up? _L thought but what he said was, "Hm, nice job Matsuda. Go dispose of it."

Matsuda took the contract back with a giant smile plastered on his face. _L actually told _me _nice job. So awesome. _He pocketed the contract and started to leave when he stopped and said, "How do you want me to get rid of it?"

"I don't really care how you do it. Cast it out the window or flush it down the toilet. Just make sure it's destroyed enough so it can't be used again." L said going back to the overhead compartment of chocolate.

"'Kay!" He started for the bathroom at the back of the plane when he passed by Light and Misa's seat, where Light looked like he was near death. Matsuda yanked the paper out of his pocket and mouthed the words _I got one _to the half-dozed Light in the chair.

Light caught a glimpse of the paper and his eyes lit up. He hastily nodded his head that he understood before Misa started in on another barrage of sappy love stories. _At least that's one down, and hopefully not many left to go. _Light thought groggily as he tried to close his eyes to sleep only to be jolted back awake by Misa's chatter. _I still wish for a plane crash._

Down in the plane bathroom Matsuda was busy ripping the contract up into miniscule pieces, small enough that no one would even recognize what the paper was in the first place. Afterwards he tossed the pieces into the airline toilet and flushed the pieces out the plane.

Satisfied with the job, Matsuda turned to exit the bathroom when a flashing sign above the door said 'PLEASE FASTEN SEATBELTS'. "Oh, I'd better hurry up and get out of here then." He said grabbing the knob and turning, only to discover that it didn't turn. "What the- Hey! Why. Won't. It. OPEN!" Matsuda said punctuating each word with a tug on the door. "HEY! L, LIGHT, OPEN THE DOOR!"

Through his haze Light heard Matsuda calling. First he thought, _shut up, I don't need two annoying voices. _Second he thought, _who the hell gets themselves locked in the damn airplane bathroom!? _Sitting up a little bit he interrupted Misa and said, "One of my 'best men' are stuck in the bathroom. Would you kindly shut your mouth and get him out?"

Misa stopped and puffed out her cheeks indignantly. "Well mister, I would get the stupid one out but this plane automatically locks it's doors when the plane is ready to land. Looks like he's just going to have to deal with the turbulence."

"Turbulence? That's a big word for you." Light said meaning to be insulting.

"You really think so? I've been practicing my vocabulary so I could sound smart just like my husband-to-be." Misa said happily.

Light was about to say that she couldn't even try to reach the level of intelligence that he was on when the plane began jolting violently. Misa threw herself on Light and tried to talk to him, but thankfully for him the sound of the turbulence was so loud he couldn't hear her.

L was had already fastened his seatbelt and was looking in vain for the Milky Way he dropped on the ground when the turbulence started. In the end he just settled for listening to Matsuda scream from the bathroom in the back.

_Apparently it's the first time he's flown... _L thought listening with his hand on his chin.

From the bathroom Matsuda was screaming, "THE PLANE'S GOING TO BLOW UP! IT'S GOING TO FALL OUT THE SKY! I DON'T WANNA DIE IN A BATHROOM!"

But as suddenly as it began the shaking stopped and the plane hit the ground. Ms. Takabi's voice could be heard droning over the intercom, "Welcome to Hawaii. Our final destination. Please depart soundly and get into the limo below."

Hawaii and the chaos was just beginning.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

_**Short chapter for today, but lots of crazy weird stuff to come. Including Light cooking a meal, L eating chocolate covered paper, and Matsuda's mysterious swimming record.** _


End file.
